Your boyfriend isn’t commitment ready. He tells you that although he’s crazy in love with you he just can’t take that next step. You understand. How could you not since you love him so much, right? Months pass and you bring up the idea of a more serious relationship again. Still he claims he’s not commitment ready and you begin to wonder what exactly he means by that. This all sounds eerily familiar, doesn’t it? It’s the script of your life at the moment. As all of your friends focus on planning their weddings or moving forward in their marriage, you’re still stuck being a girlfriend. Are you really willing to wait forever for him to commit to you?

When your guy tells you he’s not ready for a commitment, you want to believe there’s a valid reason behind it. There are a few standard reasons why men fear serious relationships. Things like being fearful of divorce, worrying about finances and not feeling certain about having children are all typical. However, if a couple has been together for some time and they are living essentially as though they are committed partners, the actual commitment should be just a formality. That’s why you need to really take stock of your relationship.

What many women don’t want to face when their boyfriend won’t commit is that his reluctance may be related to his feelings. A good majority of men who say they aren’t commitment ready just aren’t sure they’ve found the ideal woman for them. It’s tough to hear that. You likely feel as though you two are well suited, maybe even soul mates. To know that he has serious reservations about marrying you because he’s unsure, stings and it’s very confusing.

You have to determine whether or not you’re willing to wait until he comes to a decision regarding marrying you. It’s vitally important that you realize that you also have a say in this. If you want very much to be in a committed, stable, mutually satisfying relationship, you need to make a tough decision. Your happiness and fulfillment has to come first so if you believe you’re in a relationship that may never give you what you need, consider what your next step needs to be. Even though you love him dearly, if he can’t ever give you what you want, you may need to reconsider whether he really is the perfect guy for you.

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About the Author:
There are specific things that any woman can say and do that will make her man want to commit to her. If you believe that he is the man you are destined to be with there are things you can do right now that will make him feel exactly the same way about you.
You don’t have to wait for him to decide whether or not he’s ready to commit to you. If you are tired of putting your dreams on hold because he’s commitment phobic, there are things you can do to make him want to marry you now. Learn right now what you need to do to make him fall to his knees and beg you to marry him.
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If you’ve been divorced, you know that it can be tough to get out into the world and start the dating game all over again. You also would probably like to start having a social life again and would value some company of the opposite sex. So how do you know when it’s okay to start dating?

Can you deal with dating? Are you far enough away, emotionally, from your divorce, that you can date without crying, being angry for no reason, or spontaneously losing your temper (combusting)? Are you still in that state when you hate everybody of the opposite sex? That is not propitious for the beginning of a new relationship. If you feel you’re going to break down crying during the appetizer, maybe you should wait. If you really feel like you’re over things a bit and are ready for a night out, go for it.
How are your kids doing? If they live with you, are all of you emotionally ready for mommy or daddy to go on a date? Kids are often never really ready. But is their life, and your life, settled enough so that they can understand why you would want to go out at all and particularly to go out with a date? Don’t let your kids dictate your social life but be sensitive to their needs as well as your own.
Are you entirely happy on your own? Do you have no wish for any sort of dating scenario? Then forget what your mother has to say about finding someone else, or the fact that your best friend has a cousin who’s just dying to meet you. Your life needs to evolve at your own pace. Now, if it’s been an inordinate amount of time since your divorce– years, say – you might want to get some counseling. But counseling is never a bad idea after a divorce anyway.
You feel that you are truly and really divorced from your ex-spouse. If you know that you are still in love with your ex, or are filled with obsessive thoughts about your ex, it’s going to be difficult to begin a new relationship. This may just be a matter of time to adjust. Again, if it’s too much time, think about counseling or bring it up in the counseling you’re already getting.
Are you confident in yourself? Are you dating because you would really enjoy the companionship of someone else or because you need to validate yourself as a companion and partner? Can you go out on a date and feel like an attractive, desirable person yet? If the answer is no, wait a while. If you feel that you’re ready, find a date.

Dating after divorce is difficult. Most people who have been divorced would agree. So take a good long look at the readiness suggestions above and see how you rate. It will give you a chance to think about yourself and the possibility of a new relationship – either soon or in the future.

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About the Author:
Much more essential dating advice on Dating-with-Style.com.
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Samantha South is THE leading relationship expert online.    I worked as a private consultant for a long time, so I know the difference between a good one who can help people,  a person who means well and says they can help when it is wishful thinking and they are out of their depth, on a huge ego trip, or a con artist who is just in it for the money.

Sadly, when I looked through the many sites relationship experts, life coaches etc I found that many are set up by unqualified or barely qualified people,  or people with no o little experience.  Even the ones that mean well should not be practicing as they may think they can help but they are of no more use than a neighbour or friend who may get it all wrong.  At least with a neighbour or friend they may know the situation and you better.

A good relationship experte has to be able to take in and understand the whole situation.  Read between the lines of what is said and not said  (the average amateur will give advice that is based on the “let them eat cake” principle.   i.e.  if a person is upset and worried because they are housebound and cannot get out,  and are very short of money,  they will be advised to go on a fantastic expensive holiday.    If the person is upset and worried because they are blind and it is getting them down that they have a struggle with every day life,  they are advised to watch a good film and read a nice book.

A good relationship expert must also have a lot of experience of life and it’s problems,  so unless they know what it is to be in love,  have arguments, money worries, maybe go through a divorce etc.  they cannot begin to understand such things.

A good relationship expert has a lot of common sense.   They have intelligence.  Knowledge. Initiative.  Otherwise they cannot work anything out as well, let alone better, than you.

Samantha South has been working at this for decades, she is middle aged. She has been thoroughly tested by newspapers and experts, written for newspaper (recently the Daily Mirror national newspaper), had famous clients and been able to build up her business to where she had staff.    She could now retire  or hand over all of her work to staff but she prefers to carry on.  And if you want a long phone or private session with her she charges a very reasonable rate, most of her calibre charge a great deal more.

I urge you to remember that when you have a relationship problem, or you need to make a decision regarding a relationship,  you go to her.  If you would rather not pay for advice then sort it out yourself,  but do not trut so called experts who are really amateurs and do not know what they are doing and are just doing it to feel important or because o their ego or boredom.

Go to Samantha South’s site, you will see that it is well laid out, easy to use, has a lot to offer, including a great forum and chat room,  which are free to use with no obligation.

Why not go there now?  I often use them,  I might meet you there.  I advise people to use this site because I am a qualified professional who is totally retired now,  and I get upset when people write to me about consulting yet another inexperienced amateur or con artist.

http://www.relationshipexpertonline.com  

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About the Author:
Worked as a full-time, self employed, professional writer, clairvoyant, therapist, life coach and relationship expert for many years, with famous clients, newspaper articles and offers of radio and television work.  RETIRED and stll very interested in the subject.
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